暗网禁区

A "Freudian slip" is when you say one thing, but you really mean your mother.

YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook are negotiating a social network amalgamation. A call went out to netizens asking for an appropriate name for the new business venture, and according to recent polls, the name most favoured is, "YouTwitFace".

YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook are negotiating a social network amalgamation. A call went out to netizens asking for an appropriate name for the new business venture, and according to recent polls, the name most favoured is, "YouTwitFace".
-@Aidan in HCMC

Yea because "cesspool" was already taken.

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), in a effort to be more inclusive, has developed a new generation of crash-test dummy which is intended to be a realistic representation of the average human adult. The new model of crash-test dummy will have one breast and one testicle.

A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus.
The bartender says, "You mean a martini, right?"
Roman says, "If I wanted a double I would have asked for it."


Another Roman walks into the bar, holds up two fingers and says, "Five beers please."
-@Aidan in HCMC

A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini. The bartender asks, "Dry?"

The German replies, "Nein, one."

<okay, I'll stop with the martinis>

Man, that was one hell of a curry Ms My made for lunch

Man, that was one hell of a curry Ms My made for lunch
@goodolboy

Reminded me of "Train Spotting"!

Man, that was one hell of a curry Ms My made for lunch
@goodolboy

Reminded me of "Train Spotting"!
-@Aidan in HCMC

"the worst toilet in Scotland"

Man, that was one hell of a curry Ms My made for lunch
@goodolboy

Reminded me of "Train Spotting"!
-@Aidan in HCMC


"the worst toilet in Scotland"
-@goodolboy

"I fantasize about a massive pristine convenience. Brilliant gold taps, virginal white marble, a seat carved from ebony, a cistern full of Chanel no.5, and a flunky handing me pieces of raw silk toilet roll. But under the circumstances I'll settle for anywhere."

@Aidan in HCMC

"When Mother Nature calls, nobody criticizes her accent."

ESL teachers would be well advised to let their students know that English comprehension can be difficult.

Tell them it can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.

ESL teachers would be well advised to let their students know that English comprehension can be difficult.
Tell them it can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
-@Aidan in HCMC

A linguistics professor during a lecture says, 鈥淚n English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, that said, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative.鈥�

But then a voice from the back of the room piped up, 鈥淵eah, right.鈥�

I asked a friend of mine in the US how the economy was doing. "Not so well", he said.

聽 He just received his predeclined credit card in the mail.

聽 CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

聽 Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

聽 McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

聽 Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

聽 Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

聽 A truckload of Americans were caught sneaking into Mexico.

聽 A picture is now only worth 200 words.

聽 He called a car dealer to get the book value on his used car. They asked if the gas tank was聽 聽 full or empty.

My friend was telling me that I didn鈥檛 understand the definition of irony, which is ironic because we were waiting for a taxi.

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, retirement funds, etc., that I called the Suicide Hotline. I got an overseas call center in a religious fundamentalist country. When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, retirement funds, etc., that I called the Suicide Hotline. I got an overseas call center in a religious fundamentalist country. When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
-@Aidan in HCMC

hahahahahahaha OFFS man, did they ask for your vest size?

Don't you just hate those Russian dolls鈥� So full of themselves.

Police Officer: "You're driving on the wrong side of the road."

Driver: "Sorry, I'm English."

Police officer: (shouting) "Oii! It's the rong soid of the roade ye was droivin down, innit?!"

=============================

Police Officer: "You're driving on the wrong side of the road."

Driver: "Sorry, I'm Australian."

Police Officer: "Well, did you come here to die?!"

Driver: "No, I came here yesterduai."

<groan>

Hot local news from Tan Phu......all the trees in Celadon City park are being given ID numbers. Is it to track them if they go walk about?

@goodolboy

LOL!!

@goodolboy
LOL!!
-@Aidan in HCMC

thought you might like that one

I got my wife a fridge for her birthday. I can鈥檛 wait to see her face light up when she opens it!

I got my wife a fridge for her birthday. I can鈥檛 wait to see her face light up when she opens it!
-@Aidan in HCMC

@goodolboy

ewwwwwwwwww!

So, who is this Rorschach guy and why does he paint so many pictures of my parents fighting?